Choose Better

I want to be able to choose right in my life. Is this the greatest human inner conflict? It’s the battle to want to be good and do good, and then fail miserably in attempt of doing so? It’s the battle to want love and give love, and then fail miserably in attempt of doing so?

SWSC is supposed to be better. It’s supposed to be better than the mistakes of the past. It is supposed to give opportunity to those who otherwise wouldn’t have that chance. It is supposed to make good decisions. These good decisions are supposed to be based on love for each other.

Lately I have been thinking a lot lately about how a good idea and true intentions can turn sourly. A President in Zambia may start his campaign with a full heart for the people. This would be a heart for change. There would be more schools and more hospitals and more jobs and less people suffering. Where though, does the problem begin? Somewhere along the line, the true intentions start to smell badly. Decisions get made from the wrong influence and at the end of the day the President has gone so far away from those original intentions, that he can’t find his way back to the honest goal.

I will die if this happens to SWSC. In the beginning 4 years ago, I would say that I wouldn’t want to know me, if one day I woke up and I was a member of something that became dishonest.

I’m terrified of being that President in Zambia, or that corporate leader, or that NGO Director, that wakes up one day and doesn’t know the difference between real good and the fake good. The fake good is the type of good that starts off good, but really isn’t because it is backed up by so many horrible excuses. It makes the wound deeper instead of heals.

What have I got to hold on to? There is only belief left. Christmas is next month and it is a great time to remember that I believe in something. Christmas may be one of those horrible excuses though, and I think it is better that I remember to believe today. The only choice is to believe that what you’re doing is entwined with goodness. It’s about being humble when I have made a mistake and letting others push me back onto a better path.

I do believe in this organization. I do believe after four years, that it is better than what is behind us. We can’t do this alone though. I’m asking you all to believe that this world can be better and should be better and that it’s not too late to be the real sort of good. The fake one doesn’t resolve.